So, I Started Caring About My Body…

It’s really hard for me to even think about putting this out there, but here goes.

*takes a long, deep breath*

I got fat. There, I said it.

I’m not quite sure when it happened, but a day came when I realized I had put on weight. Back in high school I weighed 130-135 pounds on average, with 140 pounds being my maximum. But somewhere after moving back in with my parents when I was taking care of my mom I put on weight.

Maybe it was a mix of the stress of watching her health deteriorate before my eyes coupled with having access to all the junk food I loved and not being as active as I used to be, but somehow it happened.

Now, I’ve been aware of my weight for a while now, and I’m really not terribly upset over it because I know I’m big but not obese or anything crazy like that. For the past year or so my weight hasn’t changed. I’ve been eating the same crap food, and been the same lazy/inactive person. So apparently all the crap I’ve been eating has been within the amount of calories I needed to not gain weight.

Yay! Oh wait, no. No not at all.

Because yes, I haven’t gained weight, but I haven’t lost any either.

And I sure as hell haven’t been eating healthy!

But it’s time for things to change.

And not because I wanted a New Years Resolutions. That’s just asking for me to fail. I’m not looking for a quick fix here, I’m looking for a healthier lifestyle!

Right before New Years a friend of one of my best friends made a post on Facebook about how excited she was to try out a new diet plan so she could start learning to eat healthier and lose some weight.

Needless to say, I was intrigued! Mr. Envoy and I have been struggling with our mutual sweet tooth and cravings for all things fatty and bad for you. Mr. Envoy has complained about putting on weight after returning from Afghanistan, and I know I’m to blame. I was constantly feeding him baked goods and yummy meals with absolutely no regard for their health value.

Ooopsies? >_>

And unfortunately, this has made it difficult for him at times to maintain his required weight for his weigh-ins and he has had to make some unhealthy choices in order to make sure he was alright for them.

So knowing all of this and seeing what size I’ve been sitting at for the past year, I asked about the diet plan.

She pointed me over to a blog called Blogilates. It’s a blog dedicated to healthy living and fitness and the owner of it, Cassey Ho, puts free workouts up on YouTube. She even comes out with monthly workout calendars and even diet plans here and there!

It was an amazing discovery. I excitedly showed Mr. Envoy the next morning and told him that I wanted to do the 12-week diet plan and start following Cassey’s Beginner’s Workout Calendar. He really liked the idea, and agreed to try the diet plan with me (with modifications of meal sizes since he needs more protein and what not since he’s a guy). He asked me when I wanted to start, and I told him tomorrow (which was a Monday) because that’s when the diet plan started. He shook his head and laughed and asked me “Why tomorrow? What’s wrong with today?”

So I started the workout calendar that day. And he started his own workout plan he found on (I believe this is the one he’s following).

Here’s the hard part about it though. Well, there are multiple hard parts like cutting out the sweets/junk food, but the real hard part is keeping up with it.

I have noticed that I tend to not finish things. I get all excited about starting them and for the first week or so I’m super into it. Then life happens and I get distracted and one thing leads to another and I’ve given up.

I’ll admit, I’ve already struggled a bit with it since starting – both with keeping to the diet and following the workout calendar. I’ve added some extra rest days or just skipped working out and eating right altogether. Not good! But with Mr. Envoy’s help, and my plans to make weekly progress reports to you guys (so you’ll keep me honest) I know I can do it!

Now here’s the scariest part of this whole mess. Posting my “before” picture and admitting to my weight >_<

Here goes nothing…

My “before” picture. I’m 24 years old, am 5’6″ and weigh 160 pounds.

There it is. Me. No shirt to hide the belly, no pants to hide the cellulite. I’m not sucking my belly in like I do seemingly around the clock. It’s just… well me.

I posted a similar picture (minus the shorts) on Instagram about a week ago, and I felt way more confident about sharing that one than I do right now. Hell, I’m terrified about what people will think, about what they’ll say because of how fat I’ve gotten.

But, I had to do it. I had to share with you guys where I’m starting from. I used to be skinny and fit, and I’ve let it all go. Now it’s time to change. I need to learn to lead a healthier lifestyle and I know I can do it! It’s just going to be a lot of hard work.

You know what they say though, anything worth doing isn’t going to be easy. And maybe, after I’ve lost some of the excess weight, I can add more of the stuff I love to eat back into my diet – as long as I keep working out of course! ;)

So please guys, help me out. Keep me honest! I’ll post my weekly weigh-ins on Mondays, a picture, and how my past week went as far as workouts and following my diet plan went.

And if anyone else wants to join me on this journey, let me know in the comments and be sure to check out Cassey’s phenomenal blog! She is amazing and makes following her workouts fun!

<3 and harp strings,

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